Apple Coffee Cake

October break is here, and with it, a blog post for the first time in a while cause, you know, life.

In the USA, October break means nothing. There, children are pushed out of public schools for three months of summer to wreak havoc, then once they have finally forgotten everything their teachers laboured to insert into their resistant craniums, they are locked back inside the institution's doors for the remainder of the year (apart from two weeks at Christmas and a week in spring). Meanwhile, here in Britain one must always check one's calendar to see if school is on that day, for the schools don't open their doors for such significant cultural events as the following:

Christmas
Easter
Autumn*
February*
and...the ever significant, can't ever miss it:
Bank holiday

I say bank holiday, singular, but it feels like there are dozens of the bastards, usually falling on Mondays, which usually have no great significance other than to say "feck it, let's have a day off, just to mess with the parents looking forward to Monday, shall we?"

The consequence of this schedule is that you'll be rolling along, enjoying your little school routine of drop-offs, pick-ups, working when they are at school, when all of a sudden the school refuses to take them for a day, a week, or, if you're really lucky, the school announces that technically the inner walls aren't attached to the outer walls and the roof isn't technically attached to the walls either so they have to close indefinitely.

I really, really hate it when they do that last one, by the way.

So here we are, celebrating autumn. And Autumn means apples, apples stolen in the black of night from the local angry farmer who came after us with his pitchfork.** They taste best poached, but a close second is to make apple coffee cake. At this point, Americans all say "oooh- coffee cake! and Brits all say "apple and coffee? In a cake? uh...<tentative bite> wow, I can't taste the coffee at all!" That's because it is a cake meant to be consumed with coffee, it doesn't actually contain any. I had been told it was a German thing to call it coffee cake, then I spoke to my German colleagues all chill about "coffee cake" and how it doesn't have any coffee in it and they stared in that special, direct, mean-what-they-say that their nation has perfected and said "no, we do not call that coffee cake in Germany" so I guess it's just another silly Americanism.


You know how a lot of the time I take photos of all the steps along the way? Screw that, here are some apples on some batter that I made. Incidentally, one of the great things about having kids is that first thing in the morning you can send them to the shops for ingredients.

Son, I couldn't have made this without you. 

I sliced the apples instead of roughly chopping them cause I felt fancy, but I didn't make them uniform, because I lack both the precision and the will to do that. 

This is the struesel topping I made in the food processor. I should have made more. Too much topping is always better than too little.

Here is the evidence that I should have made more - you can never have too much struesel on coffee cake.

unbaked

Baked. Yes, I know I missed a spot.

And here is the final, somewhat thin for coffee cake, product, right before I stuck it in the freezer with all of its attractive brothers and sisters (as well as the ugly brother who has the same mother and father but somehow lost out on the looks lottery) so that I can better transport the goods to a mystery location tomorrow. And so I didn't shove all the cake in my face immediately, because these guys are like Pringles. 

Soft cake base, gooey, tart apple middle, and crunchy top

So wish me luck over the next week as I try to master the fine details of financial reporting (INCLUDING the ever exciting group reports pro formas) while at the same time keeping three children fed, clothed, and entertained with all kinds of educational activities. 

HA HA HA HA!!

Please pass me the cake now.

I can't find a handy link for the recipe, so forgive me if I leave that typing for another day. Alternatively, open up a copy of Joy of Cooking and make their Sour Cream Coffee Cake with Apple topping, using yogurt instead of sour cream and Struesel I. 

*They don't shut for the entirety of Autumn of February, as that would be silly. Instead each time children are given a week off. Plus, usually, a random Monday added on just to mess with you. 

**the apples weren't actually stolen - my colleague has an apple tree and gifted them to me.