Chocolate chip cookies, Er, I mean, flapjacks

This weekend marks Mothering Sunday, a day to celebrate all mums with a name that helps avoid the whole apostrophe debate that plagues me on the second Sunday in May.

And it also hopefully underlines something else - the end of my exams. On Thursday, I sat what was what I greatly wish to be my last ACCA exam, a test that consisted of three and a quarter hours scribbling about advanced taxation. It was basically a test of how many financial loopholes you can discover for rich people that are completely legal, with only 5 points out of 100 dealing with the ethics of such scenarios. In the revision kit the marker states many students miss out on these ethics points entirely, simply skipping that section of the long question - doesn't exactly fill me with confidence about the profession.

With all that behind me, I now have hopefully a bit more time to devote to other pursuits, such as blogging and baking (Michael has kind of taken over the cooking lately). With us in charge of cakes after mass this week, I thought I'd put out a wee note to the mums to say that they'd get a free sweet treat if they came along on Sunday, and then I set to work.

Last night I made a lemon drizzle cake, which sank in the middle. Not quite so much so as to be reclassified as lemon pudding, but that was certainly its intent.

So then I made a carrot cake, only in the middle of measuring the flour, I had to go deal with a certain child who wouldn't wear their trainers (they were soaked from hockey practice), who didn't want to wear school shoes (it was still raining and girls' school shoes are terribly impractical in that respect for Scotland), who refused to wear wellies (she would look stupid, apparently), and who was having trouble squeezing her foot into a silver converse, as it was pinching her pinkie toe.

That problem dealt with, I added more flour and was pretty sure, but not entirely sure, that I put in a cup too much flour. So the carrot cake is substandard. Cream cheese icing will make it all better. Lots of it.

After those two mishaps I thought: I know - choc oat chip cookies! They always turn out perfectly, and it's so easy to just throw all the things into the food processor!

So I was weighing out the oats and was fairly sure that there was more in the bowl than the scales were telling me, but there was another child crying about the fact that he didn't get as much jam as his sister so I didn't double check the measurement. The work surface wasn't exactly immaculate, so I believe some particle had wedged itself under one of the feet of my digital scales, throwing all accuracy to the wind. And then I put all the ingredients in the food processor, to which the machine said: "No. Get this s*** out of me" in its special loud way.

Sure enough, the mixture was crumbly and not at all cookie dough-like. Not quite sure how to fix it to get it back to what it should be, but also not willing to waste these ingredients that still tasted fairly good together, I put it into a big tray and pressed it down, in the hopes of making some cookie bars of sorts. After 20 or so minutes in the oven, my experiment emerged looking like this:

The tray came out smelling good, and the kids came into the room shouting - "oooh!!! Flapjacks!!!"

Flapjacks, American readers, mean chewy oat bars here, usually bound with golden syrup. They do not mean pancakes.

So yeah, I guess I made flapjacks for tomorrow. When in doubt, drizzle over more chocolate.

I had planned to make hot cross buns, too, but I don't think I could handle those failing on me.

In summary, baking this weekend has been much like motherhood - I knew exactly what I had to do as a mum until I had kids. Plans change, and the result is nothing like what you thought it would be, but you learn to improvise and make the best of it. Now I just need that written on a soft focus photo of a mother looking adoringly at her children...

Happy Mothering Sunday.

Don't ask me for the recipes. 

Lime Bars

So yeah...lime bars...Fairly simple, which is just as well, because I made them on the wrong day.

Here I was, trying to be the smug mother again baking for the cricket crew. I made the mistake of listening to my husband when he told me that cricket was on Monday again, so I went ahead and made a batch of these. As they were cycling over, I even found a sturdy container, packed them well, and made him get some bungees to strap it to the panier rack. Cricket was to begin at 5:45, so I sent them on their bikes at half past, texting a friend to watch out for Michael if she wanted any of tonight's treat.

At quarter to six I got a call. "So...cricket isn't on...but these bars will keep, right? You can just put them in the fridge and give them out on Wednesday?"

I thought for a moment, and said "Err, I can just make something different then. In the meantime, go to X's house and drop some off there, and then go to Y's house and give some to her, cause I was talking about this recipe with her today as well."

So they set off on their deliveries, and we got a bit more peace and quiet at home.

In the U.S., lemon bars are fairly standard bake sale and coffee shop fayre, but you don't see them here much. This is just a slightly sexed up version of them, using lime instead of lemon, and adding a glaze layer on the top.

A food processor in your life will make the first step VERY easy: just stick some flour, icing/powdered sugar, salt, and butter into a food processor until it resembles breadcrumbs and dump it into your lined 9X13 pan. If you don't have one this size, think about getting one if you want to master a lot of American recipes. Or half the recipe and do it in a square 8 inch pan.

I used a small nutella jar that I now use as a drinking glass to stamp it down a bit.

Then baked it for 10 minutes.

I then poured a simple mixture of limes (zest and juice), eggs, sugar, flour, and baking powder on top, which I had managed to put together during the 10 minutes the base was in the oven, even while managing a 3 year old who wanted a chocolate donut, a request he kept repeating over and over and over and over...

I didn't have any, and told him I didn't intend to get any, so he took my ipad and took a photo of what my kitchen really looks like when I don't zoom in to edit out all the crap everywhere.

The pan went back in the oven for another 25 minutes or so, at which point it came out looking like this.

Once it had cooled a bit I put a mixture of limes (juice and zest) and icing/powdered sugar on as a glaze and let it set while I read about Berenstein Bears on Vacation, at the Doctor, on their Moving Day, with Trucks, Going to School...and then about Fancy Nancy and her Butterfly Birthday.

The bars were now ready for slicing, so the books were abondoned. One day, I might actually learn to make even squares when slicing. Not today.

Then into the box they went on their city adventure. Here they are being lovingly packed in some vintage tupperware which doesn't crack or break when you drop it. This is important for me, as I am really good at breaking stuff. I made the mistake of splurging around Christmas-time on a modern 2 tiered cupcake carrier and broke it the second time I used it. Vintage tupperware, on the other hand was made to last, so we are good pals and shall remain so for a while I suspect.

I'll post the recipe below but here is the link. Soon it looks as if I shall have to focus my efforts on  copying and pasting a lot from the BBC recipe site as it is being shut down!!! Scary biscuits!

"A different take on the lemon bars we all love. I actually prefer them to lemon. This is my favorite bar cookie and I'm asked to bring it when going to a potluck or picnic. The recipe says it serves 36, but you can't eat just one of these delicious, tangy lime bars. You can omit the glaze and sprinkle with powdered sugar if that's your preference."

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup butter
• 4 eggs
• 1/3 cup lime juice
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

• 2 cups white sugar
• 2 teaspoons grated lime peel, or more to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 teaspoon grated lime peel (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Grease a 9X13-inch baking dish.
2. Mix 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, and salt in a bowl; cut in butter with a pastry cutter until crust mixture resembles crumbs. Pat crust evenly into bottom of the prepared baking dish.
3. Bake crust in the preheated oven for 10 minutes.
4. Whisk eggs, 1/3 cup lime juice, 1/4 cup flour, white sugar, 2 teaspoons lime peel, baking powder; pour over the crust.
5. Return baking dish to oven; bake until filling is set, about 25 minutes. Cool thoroughly.
6. Whisk 1 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, 1 tablespoon lime juice, and 1 teaspoon grated lime peel to make a smooth glaze; spread evenly over cooled lime bars. Let glaze set before cutting

Lime Bars

Well, after the lacklustre "lemon brownies" I decided to go with a more reliable citrus bar. Lidl had a special deal on limes, so I picked up a bag and got out a recipe for lime bars that I had made a while back. 

Lemon bars are not often seen here in Scotland, as much as they are a staple in American cafes, and certainly no one here had ever seen a lime version of these citrus treats. I failed at first when describing it to my colleagues as the laden tin was presented.

"They're lime bars," I said confidently.

"What? Lion bars? What are lion bars?"

"Ha ha, no, not lion bars, LIME bars!"

"Oh. What are lime bars?"

"Um...Kind of a shortbread base with a lime topping. Kind of a gooey topping, sort of a custard but not really. They're crusty on top. Gooey but crusty"

"Uh...thanks..."

"No, really! It's kind of like a lime curd topping! With a shortbread base! They're good!"

"Great."

Of course, ultimately, they were home made goodies so people ate them. And darn it, they liked them too.

And for the record, the last time I made these for a separate group, I was told they were the best dessert bars one person had ever eaten ever and they demanded the recipe. So there. 

Here's the recipe I used here, also copied and pasted below.

Gather Up:Cookie Crust

1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 /2 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 cups flour
Pinch kosher salt

Lime Topping4 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons flour
¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 teaspoons lime zest
Confectioners’ sugar for dusting

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Generously butter a 9 x 13 inch cake pan.

To make the crust, combine the butter and confectioners’ sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat on medium high speed for 2 to 3 minutes until light and fluffy. Add the flour and the salt, and mix another minute until well combined.

Pat the dough out to an even thickness over the bottom of the pan, and then gently push up and build an edge all around. (This will prevent the filling from seeping down underneath the crust when it is added later.)

Bake the crust for 20-25 minutes until lightly golden. Remove and let cool completely on a rack.

To make the topping, whisk together the eggs and sugar in a mixing bowl. Add the flour and whisk until just combined. Whisk in the lime juice and the zest.

Pour the lime topping over the cooled crust and return to the 350 degree oven. Bake for an additional 25 minutes until the filling is set.

Remove to a cooling rack and allow to cool completely. Generously dust with confectioners’ sugar and cut into squares. Bars will keep 2-3 days at room temperature.

Nanaimo Bars

A few months back, a colleague and fellow canuck announced the happy arrival of twin nephews, both born in the area of Nanaimo. This had given him a hankering for Nanaimo bars, so he asked me if I knew any place here in Edinburgh that sold them. Not wanting to immediately confess I had not heard of them, I quickly googled them and determined that I had not, in fact, ever seen them here...nor did I recall ever tasting them. I am obviously not Canadian enough. My husband has had to correct my pronunciation of these several times and I still don't even know how to say it.

My curiosity was piqued, and they looked simple, so I offered to make some for him and they were well received by him(as were the off-cuts by my family). I even got good quality loose leaf tea in payment, always welcome in my house.

Several months later, he has asked to commission another batch, so I have agreed once more in hopes of restocking my tea shelf.

Of course, this time I didn't manage to do things like measure out ingredients or source everything ahead of time, because I'm stupid like that. Our kitchen is in a bit of a state at the moment due to the recent replacement of our broken boiler, a happy event that unfortunately resulted in the destruction of three kitchen cupboards. You never know just how much stuff you manage to cram into a small space until you have to empty it and find it a new temporary home. Think clown cars at the circus, or perhaps Mary Poppins' bag. Right now the temporary home of all the clutter is the kitchen worktop, and the containers, dishes, and gadgets are precariously balanced and leaning against our hot water tank, threatening to fall into the gap never to be seen again except by the creatures that live in tenement walls.

I had very little space to cook on, so rather than crushing digestive biscuits and then measuring them, and grinding up nuts and then measuring them, I just roughly guessed and threw them into a food processor with some coconut. Oh, shredded coconut of North America (and elsewhere, no doubt) how I miss you. Desiccated coconut is all that can be found here (unless I want to pay £10 a bag or so at Lupe Pintos) and it is a poor imitation of its saturated cousin.

This is what it looked like after a bit of pulsing. The recipe had asked for chopped almonds, but I didn't have any, so hazelnuts were used instead as I still have a massive bag in my cupboard from a care package sent by my mother.

I then turned to melting butter and stuff together. Normally I'd do this in my microwave, but the wiring by the microwave isn't working right now. Our wiring is very important to someone, and they have put us in a queue and will give us a representative as soon as possible to fix it. Of course, I could always just ask again at another time.

Here we had a nice smoothish mixture and two small children magically appeared, asking if what was I making and if they could have some now and if not now when I was done and could they have the spoon please.

Is that chocolate, mummy? Can I help? What's that? Are you adding an egg?

Once the egg was added in, it came off the heat and the other stuff got added.

It then looked like this, and something felt different but I was trying too hard not to shout to be able to stop and figure out what looked wrong and why.

Only did I later realise, after I had put this in the fridge, what I had forgotten. I'll leave you in suspense for now.

At this point, mixing spoons were distributed and there was a brief moment of silence.

On to the next layer! It asked for regular cream and I didn't have any, but I did have sour cream, so I added a mixture of sour cream and milk. If it's good enough for other icing, it's good enough for these, I thought. Enough icing sugar (2 cups) should be able to hide the difference, I figured. The important part, the tasty fatty fats, would still be in it. I also put in Bird's custard powder (invented by a man whose wife was allergic to eggs) and butter.

And I got out the electric beaters to mix it as I felt like I needed some background noise to drown out my muttering.

You are supposed to spread it on in one pristine layer, so naturally mine looked like this. Why is the bottom layer so crumbly? I asked myself. And then I realised I had calculated incorrectly earlier. The recipe had asked for a half cup of butter in the bottom layer and I'd weighed out roughly 60 grams of butter. Unfortunately that is 1/4 cup, not 1/2 a cup, leading the the bottom layer being more crumby that it should be. Crumbs. The only thing to do now was push on.

On to more chocolate. And more butter. You might as well call these butter bars. Again, normally I'd do this bad baby in the nuke-o-matic, but today it was a bowl suspended over a pan of simmering water.

I prefer the microwave as it's easier to abandon it if motherly duty calls, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Mmmm...Butter and chocolate...

I poured it on top, and put it in the fridge to set.

So when I took it out of the fridge it looked like this.

The long greaseproof layer meant it was easy to pull out for slicing.

And while the bottom layer does come apart from the top a bit, and I felt the dry coconut somewhat lacking, my husband assures me these are entirely edible.

Let's hope my colleague agrees.

Nanaimo Bar Recipe

Bottom Layer½ cup unsalted butter
¼ cup sugar
5 tbsp. cocoa
1 egg beaten
1 ¼ cups graham wafer crumbs/digestive biscuit crumbs
½ c. finely chopped hazelnuts
1 cup coconut 

Melt first 3 ingredients in top of double boiler. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat. Stir in crumbs, coconut, and nuts. Press firmly into a lined 8" x 8" pan.

Second Layer½ cup unsalted butter
2 Tbsp sour cream and 2 Tsp. milk
2 Tbsp. vanilla custard powder
2 cups icing sugar

Cream butter, cream, milk, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer.

Third Layer4 oz dark chocolate
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter

Melt chocolate and butter over low heat. Cool. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator.

Once set, remove from tin and slice into bars. Store in fridge.