Butterscotch Pudding...or butterscotch dip for fruit

When oh when will I learn not to trust Pinterest or the Pioneer Woman?

I love the Pioneer Woman's writing, and the photos she takes are fantastic, making all her food look absolutely amazing. But whenever I have tried her recipes, I lose a bit of my faith.

This time facebook was partly to blame. A photo of her butterscotch pudding came up, beautifully presented in a dessert glass and I thought fondly of the Jell-o instant pudding I enjoyed in my youth. "Oh, I'll try hers - I bet it'll be even better than Jell-o's finest!"

Well, I tell you, I wish I'd just used jell-o. Not that I can get it here unless I mail order and pay an extortionate sum of money.

But the recipe looked simple, so I thought I should give it a shot.

And one thing it called for was cornstarch. Of course, here we don't have cornstarch we have:

Same thing, different name. And the above product is different from cornmeal, known as coarse polenta around here.

Next went in some brown sugar packed into one of my many measuring cups that has the handle broken off right where the measurement is printed. I spend a lot of time comparing the cups in my drawer trying to figure out which sized cup I am holding.

So a cup and a half of brown sugar went in with some cornflour and a bit of salt.

Then came a stressful moment for me: separating eggs. Yes, it should be simple, and everyone has their methods but I still break yolks far more than I'd like to admit. These eggs were pretty fresh from the market, so the yolks stayed solid. Score.

And yes, now four egg whites will sit in my fridge for a day, and maybe I'll transfer them to a freezer bag where they will lie on the bottom shelf for all eternity, telling myself I'll use them for meringues one day. I don't kid myself into thinking I will make an omelette, as I'm not really a fan.

Three cups of milk went in from another measuring cup with a broken handle. If I use a measuring jug I can get confused as here they label 10oz as a cup, when the American recipes I'm referring to measure a cup as 8oz.

One the milk had been added, in went the yolks.

PLOP PLOPPITY PLOP!

Stir stir stir.

A lot of stirring. It took about ten minutes to heat up and begin to thicken.

Finally it started to bubble, so I let it do so at rapid speed for about 30 seconds.

And I cackled "bubble, bubble, toil and trouble!" while waving my arms around. Someone had to.

Then the heat went off and I was supposed to stir in a tiny amount of butter, but I forgot. I poured it into bowls to cool.

And naturally I had a warm sample. My initial reaction was that it would be good as a sauce on something, but it was too sweet on its own.

I added some unsweetened cream on top to dilute the sweetness, but alas, it was still a bit too sweet and uninspiring for me.

However, the next day I tried cutting up some apple and dipping slices in this and it was perfect. Gooey sweetness contrasting with crunchy sharpness. Yum. So I may just scale it down next time and use it solely as a fruit dip when I want to indulge sometime.

You can find the Pioneer Woman's recipe here, or below: 

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 cup Brown Sugar, Light Or Dark Is Fine
• 1/4 cup Cornstarch/cornflour
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 3 cups Whole Milk
• 4 whole Large Egg Yolks 
• 2 Tablespoons Butter (if you remember)
•  Unsweetened Whipped Cream

Preparation Instructions

Gently whisk together the brown sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a medium nonstick pan.

In a separate pitcher or bowl, whisk together the milk and egg yolks. Pour it into the pan with the brown sugar mixture and stir to combine.

Turn on the heat to medium and cook, stirring gently, until the mixture just starts to bubble up/get very thick. (This can take a good 10 minutes or so.) When it reaches pudding consistency, stir in the butter until melted, then remove it from the heat and spoon it into bowls, glasses (be careful; mixture is hot), demitasse cups, etc. Chill the pudding for at least 1 hour or until very cold.

Top with unsweetened whipped cream and serve!

Schlemmertopf Chicken

When giving people kitchen equipment as gifts, I would advise to either a) give something small and useful for every day cooking or b) make sure they actually want and have space for what you are giving them. Kitchens get cluttered really, really quickly, and we do not have much space to spare in ours. Therefore, the following item was eyed with immense skepticism when it first appeared in our house.

It had been discovered in a charity shop at a bargain price, and the giver assured us that it would supply us with the most succulent chicken that would fall off the bone by simply looking at it. So I smiled and found a corner to shove it into while wondering why they couldn't have found some teaspoons to give us.

We are always losing teaspoons. I think they must hang out with the odd socks somewhere. And the scissors.

Several months later I decided to finally give this baby a shot, and asked my husband to google what we had to do with the thing. Lots of instructional videos came up in German. Great. Basically we learned we had to soak the lid first for 15 minutes and then but the filled dish in a cold oven. Um, ok. No real timings given, so we just kind of winged it. Well, I winged it - my husband was busy hiding from the three children after spending two days looking after them.

In went the lid to soak, reflecting the inside of our kitchen light. I noticed Gregg's now has ceiling lights in their bakeries like ours, because we have similarly classy taste in decor.

I cut some vegetables up to add some flavour and placed them in the bottom of the dish: an onion, a few peeled cloves of garlic, a couple carrots, and a parsnip.

Then I put on the chicken. Plenty of salt, sage, and rosemary went on top. If I was a real foodie I'd have herb gardens on my windowsill, but instead I have Tesco's selection of dried herbs at my disposal.

I just barely managed to fit the lid over the top, then put the whole thing in the oven, switched my fan/convection oven on to 170C, and set the timer to two hours.

When I lifted the lid it looked like this:

Yes, I made the picture small because it looked kind of gross. I like a nicely browned chicken and this obviously wasn't as the whole thing had steam circulating round it the whole time. The good news was that all the juices stayed in it, it was fully cooked, and this thing, this SCHLEMMERTOPF, meant the chicken was pretty impossible to dry out, even when cooking it breast side up. And I didn't have to add any butter or oil - the veg at the bottom cooked in the juices and the meat was juicy and tender. Real healthy like, yo. After we'd hacked it apart it looked like this:

So yes, it was good, just not for a person who likes a crispy skin. The flavours definitely all transferred through, and I am now curious to try the SCHLEMMERTOPF dish with other casserole type things...I just need to find a recipe that isn't in German...or I need to learn German.

Apple Strudel - the first trial

In a few months, God willing, we will be flying across the Atlantic and taking a holiday with family in the sunny climes of North Carolina. We last saw each other a year and a half ago, and the last time before that we were in each others company for a whole week was when I was in high school...which is to say, a decade and a bit further back.

As we will be on the beach, not much cooking is done - my sister-in-law is amazing at planning and shopping for all the basics to throw quick meals together - but last time I did make some desserts, namely key lime pie. I asked if they wanted me to try making anything this year and my sister-in-law replied "Apple strudel!!! Likes the apples soft! We travel looking for good strudel!"

My first google search revealed recipes that simply used filo pastry purchased from the local supermarket so I thought, ok, that should be simple enough. But further investigations suggested a homemade dough gives superior results, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

I mixed the dough in the food processor and then threw it on the work surface over and over, making sure not to overdo it and end up with dough on the floor (if this video doesn't work, try looking for the Great British Bake Off strudel on floor on youtube):

Once that was done and the dough rested, I rolled it and stretched it out (mostly stretching it on the backs of my hands) until I could see my tablecloth pattern underneath, hoping this was thin enough (you are supposed to be able to read a newspaper through it). You can see scissors in the shot because I cut the thick rim off of the dough. Perhaps if I had my dough at a better consistency (I think it was too sticky in the end and needed less liquid added at the start) I could have stretched it out further, but such is life. For my first ever attempt it didn't go as badly wrong as it could have.

I then flicked melted butter over the surface and put in my apple filling of apples, sugar, lemon zest, ground almonds and brandy soaked currants.

Using the tablecloth I folded over the end, then kept folding it with the cloth until it looked like a big cigar.

A big, pasty, floury cigar. Again, using the cloth I lifted it onto the baking tray.

Where I scrunched the ends and bent it into shape.

More butter went on (because yes, butter always makes it better) and flaked almonds should have gone on but I didn't have any.

I took it out when it had achieved a golden brown colour.

And once it had sat out for half an hour, put on a layer of icing sugar.

Then we tried it. I was underwhelmed. The apples were soft, as requested, but I had overdone the spices and the pastry wrapping seemed too thick to me, and generally flavourless. Ice cream improved it, as it is not particularly sweet and the contrast between the sweet ice cream and the tart, strongly flavoured filling worked better. My children demolished it, and my husband did end up having two helpings so it was decent, but I just was looking for something better. When asked for further guidance on other fillings (nuts, booze, etc) I was told just to keep it simple, and the gooey-er the better.

Looks as if the trials must continue.

The recipe that I followed for the above was roughly this from the Guardian:

For the pastry:
285g plain flour
1 free-range egg
150g water
100g butter, melted
2 tbsp demerara sugar
50g flaked almonds
Icing sugar, to serve

For the filling:
425g russet apples
425g Granny Smith apples
75g currants, soaked  in 4 tbsp brandy and drained

about 100g ground almonds (my own addition)

Grated zest of ½ lemon
50g soft light brown sugar
½ tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch ground nutmeg
Pinch ground cloves

1. To make the pastry, sift the flour on to a clean worksurface and add a pinch of salt, and make a well in the middle. Beat together the egg, water and 1 tsp melted butter and then mix enough of this into the flour to make a soft, sticky dough – add a little at a time so you don't overdo it, the dough shouldn't be wet.

2. Now comes the fun bit – repeatedly throw the dough from shoulder height on to the worksurface for 15 minutes until it becomes elastic and loses its stickiness. Wrap it in clingfilm and leave it at room temperature for half an hour while you make the filling.

3. Preheat the oven to 200C, and place a greased baking tray on to the middle shelf. Peel and core the apples, and cut them into chunks. Put these into a large bowl and mix in the rest of the filling ingredients.

4. Clear a large worksurface or table and cover with a clean tea towel or kitchen paper (if it has a strong pattern, that will make your life easier later). Dust lightly with flour, and divide the dough in half. Keep one half wrapped in clingfilm at room temperature while you make the first strudel, then repeat the process with it.

5. Roll out the dough as thinly as possible with a lightly floured pin. When you can't roll it any more thinly, begin gently stretching it using your whole hands – it will be springy, but keep on going until you can see the pattern of the tea towel (or read some print) through it. Try not to tear it – any small holes can be patched up with excess pastry.

6. Brush the rolled out pastry with butter and sprinkle with half the demerara sugar. Spoon half the filling in a line down one end of the pastry and then, using the tea towel to help you, roll up the pastry into a sausage shape. Repeat with the rest of the pastry and filling.

7. Gently lift both rolls on to the greased baking sheet and curve into a crescent shape. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with flaked almonds, then bake for 30–40 minutes until the pastry is golden and the apples cooked. Dust with icing sugar and allow to cool slightly before serving.

Slow Cooker Beer & Brown Sugar Pulled Chicken

My mother wrote to me the other day to say as a result of my brother's most recent visit she had been left with a supply of beer in her fridge. Not a beer drinker herself, she tried to find some other culinary use for it and ended up making beer bread in her new bread machine.  "ummm...it tastes like beer" she complained. I suggested that next time she use it for stew or even for chicken. I'd never actually used it for chicken before, but I had heard stories.

Within a day, I had been sent a link by a friend for a slow cooker chicken recipe that called for 12 ounces of beer, a divine sign that it was time for me to try cooking chicken with beer if ever there was one. I find signs in odd places. I don't use our slow cooker a huge amount, as I do find it tends to make its contents more watery than I'd like, but as we had great success last week with some pulled pork in our slow cooker I thought I'd give it a shot. The recipe was simple enough: but all ingredients in together in slow cooker and cook on low for four hours. Sounded good to me. So in I put some tomato puree:

I did manage to take it out of the measuring cup, by the way.

Then some soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, and worcester sauce. They all looked like the same thing going in, but they are very different, trust me.

Then I put in some paprika. I was too lazy to get out another measuring spoon so I put about a third of a Tablespoon in (in other words, a teaspoon - unless you are in Australia, where those crazies put 4 teaspoons in a Tablespoon).

The recipe called for chilli powder, so I got this bad baby out from our spice tin. Our spice tin is deceptive - on the outside it looks like a huge tin of chocolate biscuits but inside are gems like this. The spices are great, but if I was actually looking for a chocolate biscuit I'd be most heartbreakingly disappointed.

The recipe called for garlic powder, but we don't really do that in these parts, so in went some fresh garlic.

And for sweetness, some brown sugar. Any hard, dried lumps thankfully won't cause any problems here.

A quick stir, and then I had to stop for a while. Why? Because I didn't have any beer. I had done my daily shop at 9am just after the school drop-off, and here in Scotland you can't buy booze until 10am. So ironically they force me to shop later in the day for my tipple, making me more likely to say to myself "gosh, I do fancy a drink now!" and buy more booze. Silly lawmakers.

A few hours later I made my purchase of this from my local off license. In this case I chose it because the bottle was small (I only needed 12 oz) and it seemed to suggest it would be stronger in flavour than the other beers they stocked. I don't think I've ever actually tasted this beer. The recipe suggested that the more booze in the beer, the more tenderizing power it has, but I'm not sure I buy that.

In went most of it. I briefly contemplated trying the rest of it, but didn't think it would be smart to head out on the school run with beer on my breath. Not that they have breathalysers for people riding the bus, but it's not exactly smiled upon.

Last of all, in went the chicken. On went the lid, and the dial was set to "low".

Four ridiculously frustrating hours of childcare later, I opened the lid to this:

And because I am no photographer, that looks disgusting. It smelled nice, I can assure you, and it didn't look as gross in person. I removed the chicken and put it in a separate bowl.

Again, I AM NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER. Using two forks I shredded the chicken like so:

I also added back in some of the juices from the pot until it looked manageably soggy but not too drippy.

Then all we did was slice open some rolls and put in some of this tastiness. We served salad on the side so we didn't feel like complete carnivores, and all five family members ate it. Score. My husband even had some barbeque sauce atop his, and raved through the whole meal.

An easy workday dinner and a great use of the slow cooker. 

If you want to see what this looks like with pretty pictures and to get the original recipe, just go here. 

Or, if you want to make them without going to another website, just do as follows: 

Slow Cooker Beer and Brown Sugar

Pulled Chicken Sliders

Ingredients

¼ cup tomato puree

3 Tbs soy sauce

3 Tbs balsamic vinegar

1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce

1 tsp chipotle chili powder

1 tsp paprika

2 cloves garlic (or a tsp of powder if you have it - the garlic doesn't totally soften in the cooker)

1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

12 ounces beer 

6 boneless skinless chicken thigh fillets

Directions

In your slow cooker bowl, mix together the tomato paste, soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, chipotle powder, paprika, garlic and brown sugar.

Add the chicken and beer. Cook on low for 4 hours or until chicken pulls

apart easy with a fork.

Using two forks, shred chicken and add as much or as little of the juices from the pot as you wish.

Serve on rolls with salad.

PS

I now have it on good authority that the leftover juices in the pot when reduced make a wonderful sauce - I will certainly try this next time I make it.